Dimes of the Dead: Designing a Donor ID Requirement

A "dark" roll of hundred dollar bills

The startling discovery that 32 dead people have donated nearly $600k to political candidates and parties since 2009 officially puts the number of confirmed reports of zombie donors well above the number of confirmed reports of zombie voters.  This raises the obvious question that if concerns of hypothetical zombie voters warrant restrictive photo ID requirements for voters, then shouldn’t instances of actual zombie donors warrant restrictive photo ID requirements for donors?

Taking our cues from the restrictive voter ID laws enacted throughout the country, the CLC Blog has put together a few helpful tips for designing a restrictive photo ID requirement for donors.  The first step in drafting the restrictive donor ID law is to make it restrictive.  Really restrictive.  Here are some best practices:

The restrictive donor ID law will be particularly effective in stopping future zombie donors if you create some administrative hurdles—zombie donors hate administrative hurdles:

Now you may be worried about the impact such a law would have on the nation’s donors—after all, study after study shows that voter ID requirements tend to disproportionately affect minorities, the elderly, students and poor voters—but take a cue from voter ID proponents: Ignore the impact and immediately say, “If you need an ID to buy a beer or a pack of cigarettes, why not to buy an election?”

If you’re still unconvinced, then perhaps lawmakers could just close the loophole that allows deceased persons to donate funds to influence elections.

This parody was composed by Derek Clinger, who serves as a law student intern at the Campaign Legal Center.  Derek is not deceased.